Bryan Joiner

Why then I

Category: Red Sox

The Red Sox

I know y’all have probably had it with the Red Sox, specifically Red Sox blogs, but I was just reading a funny, insightful and clever one today called Me and Pedro Down By The Schoolyard, written by, it looks like, two childhood friends from Massachusetts. This is their quasi-mission statement. You should really check it out.

In an “unrelated note,” I won’t be blogging here about the Red Sox all that much…

Schilling Sets Record For Fonts In A Single Post

Hooray, Curt! We’re all proud of you. I believe he gets a $1 million bonus for every font used.

Rumors With Your Coffee

Once again, from, the keeper of all that is good:

Johan Santana to the Red Sox is all but done. Jon Lester, a center fielder, Justin Masterson and Ryan Kalish are the package. More details now.

We’ll see what “all but done” means today, methinks.

Remember You Read This

If the Twins were satisfied with Lester’s medicals, it’s believed they would accept a swap of him, Coco Crisp, shortstop prospect Jed Lowrie and either highly regarded pitching prospect Justin Masterson or another player.

That’s from Jayson Stark’s column on Johan. I just want to point out that paragraphs like this pop up all the time, but they are completely worthless. “It’s believed they would accept a swap…” Um, “it’s believed?” By who?

This is why a million trade rumors get spread around and there are about a dozen trades.

Of course, I hope it happens.

Santana Talk

Until he goes somewhere, I’ll more or less refrain from commenting on all the rumors that are out there, but needless to say I like this one. It sounds like the Red Sox and Yankees are going toe-to-toe again. About time.

This does bring up the uglier side of baseball, to some people, as these are the two teams that really don’t need to get better. My brother was excited by the Red Sox’ World Series victory, but he wasn’t all that surprised. His response was, “Yeah, but they spent a lot of money on players.” Which is true. The casual fan, these things can be offputting.

I am not the casual fan.

Good Call, Mitt

In last night’s CNN/YouTube debate, Mitt Romney said he waited 87 long years to celebrate a Red Sox title. I wonder why he waited until 2005.

As for Giuliani, I think the AL/NL divide goes back to when the leagues were smaller, so I don’t have an issue with it. I think there was a lot more league pride when there were fewer teams.

Matt Damon!

Nice little puff piece in the Globe today about Matt Damon and his Sox fan credentials. The best nugget is from 2004, after the Sox beat the Yankees. Damon was in Europe, filming Syriana, but decided to get back to the States:

But there was no way he was sticking around in Switzerland for the Series.

“[George] Clooney was the producer,” Damon said. “I’d never missed a rehearsal or anything, but I called him and said, ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t be here. You’re going to have to make plans to shoot some other stuff.’

“He said, ‘I already have.’

Breaking News


Red Sox To Play In Japan: The Negotiation

The Red Sox agreed this week to open their season in Japan, owing likely to the international following of their two Japanese players, Dice-K and Hideki Okajima. It wasn’t an easy sell at first.

Bud Selig [on speakerphone]: Hey Theo, do you want to open the season in Japan?
Theo: No.
Selig: Are you sure? You have two Japanese players.
Theo: Really?
Selig: Yes.
Theo: I know.
Selig: And a translator.
Theo: I know. He plays a mean Jenga.
Selig: Really?
Theo: No.
Selig: I stink at that game.
Theo: Oh.
Selig: So how about it? You, me, some sake and Mongolian barbecue?
Theo: Mongolian barbecue isn’t Japanese. It’s Mongolian.
Selig: I’ll have to look at a map.
Theo: I’m not sure you do.
Selig: We’ll pay you extra. And you can be the home team.
Theo: We don’t want to be the home team.
Selig: You are a master negotiator.
Theo: You are an idiot.
Selig: Just in case things went sour, I brought Billy Beane in on this conference call to help out. He wants to play you guys over there.
Beane: Theeee-yo!
Theo: Hi Billy.
Beane: Hi.
Theo: Hi.
Beane: Soooo, do you want to…
Theo: No.
Beane: Hey man, you’re killing my high!
Theo: Are you high right now?
Selig: No.
Beane: What?
Theo: I’m not interested, Billy.
Beane: Come on, maaaaan. We’ll be the home team. No one here will even notice, man! Gotta spread the A’s vibe worldwide. You can feel it man, can’t you?
Theo: No.
Beane: Come on, maan! Don’t you remember when we were staring at the Pacific, asking, like, “What if there was baseball, like, overseas?”
Theo: Uhhhh, “no…”
Beane: Or that other time, at Sully’s?
Theo: Uhhhh… no…
Beane: Are you sure?
Theo: Uh…
Beane: You little snot, you wouldn’t have that job if it wasn’t for me. I own you. Now say yes like a good little boy.
Selig: Th…
Beane: Shut up, Bud. Say yes, Theo.
Theo: Yes.
Beane: That wasn’t so hard, was it?
Theo: No.
Beane: Good. It’s your turn.
Theo: My turn to what?
Beane: Shut up, Theo. It’s your turn.
Selig: [crashing noises]
Beane: Jenga!
Selig: Dammit.
Theo: Dammit.

Josh Beckett Did NOT Get Screwed

There seems to be quite the sentiment that Josh Beckett got screwed in the Cy Young Award voting. At least 10 people have come across this humble Web site looking for justice, as their search terms would indicate. These people are wrong. Josh Beckett did NOT get screwed in the Cy Young Award voting.
You could be forgiven for thinking so, but you would still be wrong. So if you think he got screwed…

Because he had better numbers
You are wrong. I’m not going to throw the numbers at you here — you can look them up yourself. Their numbers are virtually identical, except Sabathia has 40 more innings pitched. That’s good. From April 1 to October 1, Sabathia was better.

Because he was great in the playoffs
Well, then you should be a) ashamed that you don’t realize that the votes are taken before the postseason and b) happy that those extra 40 innings for Sabathia may have led to his postseason fatigue, which, with Beckett’s freshness, directly contributed to the Sox’ World Series title. He was the best pitcher in the playoffs, by far.

Because he had 20 wins
This proves you are able to count to 20. Congratulations. But one extra “win” does not nearly make up for the 40 IP difference. Why? Because wins are often a factor of offense and the bullpen — the pitcher can lose the win when they’re no longer playing, as almost certainly happened with Joe Borowski on the mound for the Indians. Beckett won 20 games because he’s great and so are Oki and Paps. Which means the Red Sox were the better team. So wait a minute…

Because the Red Sox are the better team
They both won 96 games during the regular season, and they came down to game seven in the playoffs (which, again, don’t count for awards voting). They were comparably good, and the Red Sox were a bit better in the end. But we didn’t vote in the end.

Because you’re married to Josh Beckett
If you think this, you are my friend Kaitlin. I have two things to say: one, you are NOT married to Josh Beckett; two, if you are, please keep doing what you’re doing.

Because you’re an angry Red Sox fan
This is probably the real reason. But I want you to think long and hard about this, because it’s a question you haven’t had to deal with in a while…

What are you so angry about? We won the World Series!