The Latin Alphabet

by Bryan

Sometimes I would very much like to post in my blog but I cannot think of anything to write, but I write so much in any given day that something must be relevant to someone. The following will only be interesting to fans of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade or people who study people who really like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

For context, this discussion centers around a scene late in the film where Indy is attempting to navigate 2,000-year-old booby traps in order to find the final resting place of the Holy Grail. Having passed the first trap (kneel before God!) he finds himself standing in front of an alphabet with the task of spelling the “Name of God.” He whispers “Jehovah,” but as he begins his walk with an audible “J!” his father, in another location, reminds us that “in the Latin alphabet, Jehovah starts with an ‘I’.” His foot goes through the J, and he nearly falls to his death before pulling himself back up and saying, with a tone that speaks of a smack to the forehead, “I. Jehovah starts with an I,” and moving on.

From: Bryan Joiner

To: ptb

1:23 p.m.

So I was thinking about Last Crusade yesterday… because why wouldn’t I be?… when I came upon the following problem.

In the “Jehovah was spelled with an I” part, he steps on J and almost eats it. But… if the letter J was around, isn’t that what “Jehovah” would have started with? And therefore, wouldn’t there NOT have been a J on the panel? Maybe Indy just misread it.

Also, if he falls through the J (which I can’t remember, or whether it’s just his foot), he’s falling forward, and would be grabbing onto other fake letters – unless it’s the I. But if I remember correctly, he hops to the I rather daintily. This has always bothered me, actually.

Yes.

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From: Bryan Joiner

To: ptb

1:24 p.m.

I need help.

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From: ptb

To: Bryan Joiner

3:32 p.m.

i always figured it was supposed be be a double trap (of SUCH LETHAL
CUNNING), like the french brothers maybe updated that particular trap,
knowing that dumbasses would totally forget that “j” is not a letter
in the latin alphabet. i still think that “jehovah” would probably
start with a “y” in latin.

i had never considered why he doesn’t just plummet through the other
fake panels. that is presently, like at this moment, ruining my day.
i have lingering plausibility concerns about the quality and unusual
nature of the masonry work inside the grail temple. also, the physics
of the time-release earthquake that happens if you take the grail
outside are kind of silly. if the earth was swallowing the whole
temple, how come the mountain it’s in is still there when they run
out? and i find it disturbing that the knight is just going to sit in
the hallway and slowly die. how did he get back across the
j-e-h-o-v-a-h thing to wave goodbye if he’s too feeble to use a sword.

the first time i saw last crusade as a kid i was confused why the
answer to the second trap wasn’t just g-o-d.

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From: ptb

To: Bryan Joiner

3:46 p.m.

i think i might get this e-mail exchange printed on a t-shirt

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From: Bryan Joiner

To: ptb

3:47 p.m.

Funny that you mentioned that because I was 100% about to blog that shit.

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From: ptb

To: Bryan Joiner

3:49 p.m.

if moacir’s server wasn’t broken i would have already posted the
screen cap i made of my gmail. i am zero percent kidding. like,
photoshop is open.