Bryan Joiner

I just took an allergy pill. I have been taking allergy and cold pills for the last two days, as a combination sore throat and stuffy nose has sidelined me from any real activities. Thankfully there has been nothing to do at work – and I mean quite literally nothing – so all I’ve done is pester friends via chat and make updates to my Verizon phone plan. I need more text messages, especially when my voice sounds like it does. It hurts to talk, and every conversation quickly morphs into, “Wait, are you sick?” Given that I’m naturally verbose, I will respond with some babble followed by my standard answer: “Yes, but I always sound this way.” And I do. I have a naturally scratchy voice, as do both of my brothers, but mine is unsurprisingly the worst. Maybe the allergy pill will make it better. We’re about to find out.

One thing the allergy pill will almost certainly do is knock me the fuck out. Every day for the last three days, I’ve taken one of these pills in the late afternoon, and every day I’ve taken an involuntary nap that has ended around 8 p.m. I’m beginning to think that this particular dosage – for “Extreme Allergies – is less of an allergy cure than a full-blown sleeping pill. Okay, now I’m fairly sure that it is a full-blown sleeping pill: I have to rest my eyes between every sentence. It’s a beautiful day outside, and I would like to spend it doing something, but no: I’m pasted to the couch. In the long run, I’ll be happy I did this. But in the short run, it’s quite galling.

Now I’m losing it, quick. My allergies have almost gone away completely, which is great, but any sort of movement is hard (I paused between “great” and “but” to rest). At least I know dinner will be cheap tonight – there’s no way I’m going out to get anything. I’ll make do with whatever mishmosh is around here. That means rice and beans, macaroni and cheese, canned vegetables or cereal. I realize that at age 29 I should not be eating cereal for dinner, but it is so easy and delicious that it’s hard to resist. Of course, all of this is contingent on my getting off the coach. This is not likely.

(Whereupon the author fell asleep for two hours)

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Also, just as quickly as it was created, The Sox Page was deleted to make more time for Barajas.