Bryan Joiner

Why then I

The Bourne Ultimatum

Saw The Bourne Ultimatum yesterday. Loved it. I mean, LOVED it. Unlike most action movies/movies in general, the films in this series seemed to get better as they went on, first progressing from director Doug Liman (who did a great job with The Bourne Identity) to Paul Greengrass, who sped things up with The Bourne Supremacy and blows the roof off it the newest film. Greengrass also directed United 93, and, at this point, deserves your complete attention in all matters of the big screen.

It’s not even “refreshing” to see The Bourne Ultimatum after the waste of $10.50, three hours of my life and several college courses worth of brain cells that was Transformers; the actual word is theoretical and still in the testing stages. Mathematicians are roaming the halls of ivied universities, more unbathed than usual, using various degrees of ∞ to quantify the experience. The findings will represent a seismic shift in human thinking, I hear, unless one man can stop them… and wouldn’t you know it, Michael Bay is planning his counterattack with Transformers 2 and 3. May Bourne save us, possibly by killing Optimus Prime with his bare hands (just imagine what he’d do to the BAD guys). But seriously…

SPOILER ALERT: Do not read from here if you’re super-sensitive about your movies.

This is probably the last Bourne film, unless they try to make another one with a new actor and director, and I’m happy for it. While I could watch these films literally all day, the three-movie plot arc was resolved nicely. I love that Supremacy and Ultimatum, a lá The Wire or other well-crafted movies/shows, are unforgiving in looking back on previous events in the service of a “complete” story. There are many “trilogies” out these days, but most are a movie followed by a bunch of sequels. Not this group. It’s essentially one long, great movie. (Though I do get the sense they can be absorbed individually as well, but they’re so good, why would you want to?)

Adding to the greatness was the fact that the all Joiner brothers saw this one together, which is about all I could ask for. We only get together about three times a year, we’re all big fans of the series, and took in the movie, followed by some gyros from the Ditmars Gyro Palace. If that’s not a priceless afternoon, I don’t know what is.

Hillary As Revenge

I saw a friend this weekend who is a big Hillary Clinton supporter, and for the exact reason which I discounted here last week — that she is Bill Clinton’s wife. This particular friend, an honest-to-God-old-school Texas Democrat, is a strong advocate of politics as a (tug-of-?) war where you maximize every advantage you have for the sole purpose of fucking over your enemy, whom you despise. To use a sports analogy, it’s like a Yankees/Red Sox type of thing; he thinks it’s not enough to support one side — you have to HATE the other side. He takes every Karl Rove- or Dick Cheney-orchestrated maneuver personally, every Rumsfeld “unknown known” right in the stomach, every Wolfowitz and Alberto Gonzalez fuckup right to the kidney. He HATES Republicans, all of ’em, every last one. I know a few and they’re not so bad (!), so it’s harder for me to get up the urge to step on their collective throats. But I understand.

Anyhow, he’s voting for Hillary Clinton. And why is he voting for Hillary Clinton?

“Because after eight years of this fuckup president, there’s no better revenge than putting the Clintons back in the White House. You re-elected George Bush? Fine. Well guess, what? The Clintons are back. Load up the U-Hauls. Yee-haw, motherfuckers.”

This discussion/wonderful tirade opened my eyes a bit to how visceral the pain is for card-carrying Democrats these days. I’m not sure I agree with him enough to follow his lead — I think a better “fuck you” would be a better president than Hillary — but I definitely see where he’s coming from. I do think it would be a great “fuck you” to have the Republicans to have the virtual picture ofd Bill Clinton just chillin’ on the White House grass in a lawn chair, drinking iced tea and waving to passersby — you know, giving the job as much attention and GWB does now. But it’s going to take a bit more for Hillary to get my vote.

There are six “fucks” in this post. Seven now. Yikes.

I think as the election progresses, there are going to be a lot of political posts. Presidential elections fascinate me.