Note to John McCain: Give Up

by Bryan

You’ve fought the good fight. You’re a war hero. You’re a national hero. But you’re not going to be President.

So, instead of telling you to fire your campaign, like Bill Kristol, I’m telling you to fire yourself.

Look, we all know how next Tuesday is going to end. You didn’t get this far by being stupid. At some point between when Pennsylvania and Hawai’i are called for Obama you’re going to pick up the phone and make the call. Or more likely you’re going to tell your aide to make the call for you and then you’re going to have to congratulate him on become President of the F*cking United States and then poof you’re just going to be a maverick-y senator again.

It’ll be worse because your little tart of a VP nominee will continue to make a fool of herself with public approval and you’ll see that her maverick-y ways will include, probably, quitting public service for a TV program or something. That will really be bucking the political system and you’ll have to say well yes that’s unfortunate but we all gotta do what we all gotta do. And when she runs for President in 2012 you won’t even endorse her but the worst part is that she won’t even care.

John, you shoulda been president in 2000. Everyone knows it. You would have been better than Gore, and you would have been better than Bush. It’s not even close. You were the right man for the right time and we all know what happened. And we felt bad, so we gave you another chance here, but we’re rescinding that chance now.

It’s over.