Bryan Joiner

Just had this for the first time. Let’s rate it for fun:

As a soup species, we’ll give this three soups out of five. That is to say, I think this is a decent soup, but even the best CoB would be 60% as good as the Greatest Soup Of All Time (GSOAT).

As a soup specimen, this particular soup receives two soups out of five, however, this makes it only 40 percent as good as the ideal CoB, not 66%, because it is 40% of maximum CoB soup deliciousness. These are two different star scales, basically.

The surprising thing to me is how much it’s like clam chowder, even the clam chowder you get at ‘spensive places in resort towns. I always found the clams to be a little squishy but to have their taste basically overwhelmed by the cream soup. When my not-technically stepfather made us clam chowder though he just used condensed milk, and that gave it a different taste.

For the record, the greatest soup I ever had was the chicken noodle soup on the ferry from Nova Scotia to Prince Edward Island, but that is not necessarily the GSOAT. I would have to taste it again for it to even be nominated. The best soup I’ve had in the last four years or so is a squash soup, but I can’t remember where.

The lesson is that soup is good. You should eat more soup. I feel comfortable telling you that. If you see me, please offer me soup, I will enjoy it and we’ll both be happy. In return, I’ll write you a story. This is an actual offer.