Bryan Joiner

Spring sprung once but went away and it’s 35 degrees today. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s Opening Day in the freezing cold. Cubs Cubs Cubs: it’s always about the Cubs. A few years ago I went to Game 2 of the season, Mets/Cubs, with my uncle. Sammy Sosa was on 499 home runs and belted one to left. Everyone stood up, but the ball froze midair and dropped into the outfielder’s glove. We sat back down and drank hot chocolate. A few years before, I was in Chicago, at Cubs Opening Night, or something resembling it. All I remember is the freeze.

I know it was like this when I was a kid but it doesn’t always feel that way. I remember in 1994 it had to be (or 1992 or 1993) when I rushed home from school on April 1st-ish to watch the Sox play Toronto. Afternoon game. Got there after the piece de resistance: Jack Clark grand slam. HOOOOOO doggies. That’s all anyone talked about the next day. Might have been his first year with the team and the expectations were set, but never met. Last year Dustin Pedroia homered on Day One following his MVP season and basically stopped going deep after that. But he had a flair for the dramatic.

Then there were all the Pedro moments, good and bad. Pedro was never really ready to go on Opening Day, as far as I could remember, and I (and we) always attributed this to him being so little and so Platonically Dominican. He doesn’t warm up until May. Unlike Clemens, who brought the noise one year so hard he was 6-0 or something like 10-0 and there was talk of winning 30 games and I was like I can’t believe this guy is on my team. It’s the big legs that do it.

I don’t like Sox/Yankees to start. I don’t like it much at all. Too many times into the fire for me, taking abuse at Yankee Stadium. I could basically do away with the Sunday night game. As a showcase of baseball, it’s painfully limited. Gotta get every team in around the Sox, Yankees, Mets, and Cubs. Schedule the Giants and pray for Lincecum, but get stuck with Kirk Reuter (not really, but you get it). Fitting that those games won’t be on MLB.tv and I’d have to watch the game at a bar. I hate baseball at bars. I get too drunk to follow what’s going on. That’s why I like that beers are so expensive at the stadium. Keeps me in line, even if it’s hard enough to follow shit in the crazy environment, and then I’m calculating fantasy points and batting averages…

Here’s what I want this year. I want to maybe go to Yankee Stadium, but not for a Sox game. Too much trouble. I want to go to a Braves game to finish out the comet tail of the Everything Comes Back to Atlanta phase. Could be at Sheatifield, but I’m not going for the Mets’ sake. Ever. I want to watch as many Sox games as possible on my computer and know the little things the players do that don’t show up in the box score or game story. I want to see Pedroia knock doubles down the line and I want to have an opinion on who’s cooler: Beckett or Lester. I don’t want Dice-K to get within an Acela ride of the pitcher’s mound unless he’s learned how to throw strikes, but it’s probably too late for that. I root for the guy, but I don’t.

It’s 35 degrees out and baseball starts in eight days and I’ll probably go to a bar to watch it and get too drunk.