The Taming of the Wallet

by Bryan

I’ve had one of those weeks where my credit card seems to jump out of my wallet pretty much as a matter of course. I even had to reload my laundry card last night, which was the ultimate insult. Now I’ve got it taped to my desk to keep it stable, and I can imagine it squirming like a patient in a straight jacket. It needs to cool off before we let it take another walk around the yard. We don’t want anyone getting burned.

I briefly — and let me stress briefly — thought about getting an iPad, even amid this spending craze. I quickly — and let me stress very quickly — talked myself out of it. I don’t have the existential void or (ha!) the actual, you know, need for a glow-in-the dark piece of paper. I’m sure it’s cool but a lot of things are cool, like sunglasses and Grey Goose, that I do just fine without. But at least the sunglasses protect your eyes and the Grey Goose makes them work funny. I’m not sure the iPad does anything at all.

I cannot remember where I read it but someone said that the clamor for the iPad was indicative of some sort of spiritual emptiness that can only be filled, for some people, by ultimately disposal fancy new products. I think that’s probably somewhat accurate, but I also will acknowledge that despite what I said above, I’m sure I’ll own one some day, because I’m sure pretty much everyone will. But we’re probably far, far away from that and until then my 3-year-old MacBook will do. Three years! Alright, now I’m just jinxing myself.

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