Bryan Joiner

I recently watched Aliens for the first time. This came on the heels of me watching Alien for the first time. You know those things that just happen in youth by not happening? This is one of those things. The Alien movies never made their way into our house’s orbit, where sillier and more-action-less-horror movies found themselves watched and rewatched ad delirium. I am perhaps the world’s greatest Quick Change scholar, though I would gladly learn at the feet of another. I certainly remember it better than Bill Murray does.

Aliens just doesn’t feel really feel like a sequel to Alien. It feels like using the pieces of an antique dresser to make a working flamethrower. Aliens is more of an explodey dubstep remake, but a pretty good one. It pairs with popcorn and a giant screen. Alien gets you wherever you are, because it’s too careful not to.

One of the problems of italicizing the first use of a movie title in a blog is that I feel compelled to italicize the rest. And, look, I love italicizing after the fact, but if I am thinking about it when I start, I’m going to do it. No one would probably notice if I didn’t, including me. Maybe they should only be used for non-proper nouns. Real points of emphasis. Or maybe they shouldn’t be used at all, like semicolons. Or sparingly, like em dashes. Em dashes are catnip for narcissists. It’s a shame, because used sparingly and correctly, it can be deadly. Aliens vs. Alien.