Bryan Joiner

Why then I

He Sees The Bears

From this:

The habit has traveled with the language: in America, in particular, English speakers have sought to expand the range of euphemisms for inebriation. In January 1736, Benjamin Franklin published “a new Piece, lately communicated to me, entitled the DRINKERS DICTIONARY” in the Philadelphia Gazette, which offered 228 “distant round-about phrases,” culled from the taverns of the town, which were understood “to signify plainly that A MAN IS DRUNK.” My favorites include the following:

“He sees the Bears”

“He’s got his Top Gallant Sails out”

“He’s kiss’d black Betty”

“He’s Eat a Toad & half for Breakfast”

“Been too free with Sir Richard”

“Nimptopsical”

“Trammel’d”

NFL Blog Poetry

Bradford C.-Laurion breaks it down:

An NFC Championship game in Arizona is like spotting a snow leopard

In Times Square
In August

Which leads us to an interesting decision…

The best part about changing blog themes

Was that the name of this one is “benevolence.” Therefore, in order to activate it, I had to click on a link that said ACTIVATE BENEVOLENCE.

Benevolence activated.

Mega Death Hot Sauce

hotsauce

I tried a new hot sauce last night. It is called Mega Death hot sauce. There are misleading names sometimes, like L.A. Lakers or Utah Jazz. This is not one of those times.

Smoltz

This is good news. I like the Smoltz.

Hyper-Bowl for Jets

picture-1

I think people in Detroit would tell you what a “disastrous season” looks like, Judy, and it’s not 9-7. Mangini will be good on the Browns. Two winning seasons with the Jets is no small feat.

I made a poster

Inspired by the knowledge that trees are good for you, I made a poster.*

*and put it next to my computer at work

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Ben Wins

Describes recently-joined health club as, if nothing else, “a birthing pool for blog fodder.”

Cream of Broccoli Soup

Just had this for the first time. Let’s rate it for fun:

As a soup species, we’ll give this three soups out of five. That is to say, I think this is a decent soup, but even the best CoB would be 60% as good as the Greatest Soup Of All Time (GSOAT).

As a soup specimen, this particular soup receives two soups out of five, however, this makes it only 40 percent as good as the ideal CoB, not 66%, because it is 40% of maximum CoB soup deliciousness. These are two different star scales, basically.

The surprising thing to me is how much it’s like clam chowder, even the clam chowder you get at ‘spensive places in resort towns. I always found the clams to be a little squishy but to have their taste basically overwhelmed by the cream soup. When my not-technically stepfather made us clam chowder though he just used condensed milk, and that gave it a different taste.

For the record, the greatest soup I ever had was the chicken noodle soup on the ferry from Nova Scotia to Prince Edward Island, but that is not necessarily the GSOAT. I would have to taste it again for it to even be nominated. The best soup I’ve had in the last four years or so is a squash soup, but I can’t remember where.

The lesson is that soup is good. You should eat more soup. I feel comfortable telling you that. If you see me, please offer me soup, I will enjoy it and we’ll both be happy. In return, I’ll write you a story. This is an actual offer.

Boston.com sings my tune

Does it ever.