Bryan Joiner

Why then I

C’s lose. C’s lose.

I watched the Celtics game last night and it was the best — really, only — regular season game with any intensity I’ve seen in a long time. The surprise of the game for me, besides Drew Gooden’s amazing ability to actually make shots on this particular evening, was Kendrick Perkins. That guy plays great defense. This team is better than I thought. It’s more like the big six and a half (Posey and Eddie House’s offense) than big 3. That’s pretty good. And then there’s Scalabrine. If he wasn’t on the Celtics at some point in his career, the world wouldn’t exist. LeBron is good.

Reassuring

Here’s how I felt after Sunday night’s Patriots game: reassured. I was reassured that the Patriots would be incredibly difficult to beat the rest of the way, and reassured that they won despite the challenge the Eagles threw up there.

Huh?

The Eagles played their best game of the year Sunday — you know it, I know it, and the American people know it. They protected A.J. Feeley like no other line has protected against New England pressure all year and Feeley played like A.J. Unitas for three and a half quarters. If not for one phantasmagorically stupid play, the second Samuel interception, the Eagles could have easily won. They even dropped three or four near-interceptions and still came close to the upset. But I’m still reassured.

Why?

Because Feeley was more Brady than Brady for three quarters, and if that’s what it takes to beat the Patriots (on top of their O-line and defensive wizardry), I’ll take it. That’s a tall order for anyone, but Feeley was a treat to watch the other night. That’s not going to happen against Kyle Boller, John Beck, Kellen Clemens or Eli Manning. It could happen against Big Ben, and that’s why the Steelers game is big. But the Steelers are banged up. To quote a great man, though, I like our chances.

On the down side, we lost Roosevelt Colvin for the year. This was his best year so far for the Patriots, as he was finally back to full speed after a 2004 injury. To replace Colvin, we had a Brown-out: we re-signed Chad Brown, activated Troy Brown from the Physically Unable To Perform list and to make room, waived Kareem Brown. Maybe he’ll sign… with the Browns.

Matt Damon!

Nice little puff piece in the Globe today about Matt Damon and his Sox fan credentials. The best nugget is from 2004, after the Sox beat the Yankees. Damon was in Europe, filming Syriana, but decided to get back to the States:

But there was no way he was sticking around in Switzerland for the Series.

“[George] Clooney was the producer,” Damon said. “I’d never missed a rehearsal or anything, but I called him and said, ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t be here. You’re going to have to make plans to shoot some other stuff.’

“He said, ‘I already have.’

The Sports Guy

Pretty much everyone I know has dogged The Sports Guy in recent years for being repetitive or boring, and I’ve tried to defend him, but even in the last couple months there have been columns that have left me scratching my head. (The “Is is harder to go undefeated in fantasy football or real life?” column took the cake.) But today’s column about taking his daughter to a basketball game is absolutely fantastic, and includes the line of the year, about how you can make anything exciting to children if you try hard enough:

Fast-forward to the Nov. 11 Cavs-Clips game. When I asked if she wanted to go, I presented the offer as if I were suggesting we fly in a helicopter to eat M&M’s on the moon.

Finally! Pizzeria Bianco

We’ll tackle the Pats tomorrow. First, a Pizzerio Bianco update.

I have previously written about how I planned the first leg of my Thanksgiving trip around a trip to Pizzeria Bianco. This was my fourth attempt at getting into the famed pizzeria and my first successful one. Steven, Grant and I left directly from Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport (A very strange name for an airport, if you think about it. Sky Harbor?) and got there at 3:45, 75 minutes before it opened. We were the first people in line.

Let me rephrase that. I was the first person in line.

By the time the restaurant opened, there were probably 100 people waiting, and there’s room for about 60, tops. Bar Bianco, located next door, opens at 4 p.m. and I had a great beer: Hop Knot IPA from the Arizona-based Four Peaks Brewing Company.

But that’s not all that important.

We weren’t actually the first people to be seated — a group of 7 had made a reservation — but I made sure to toe-tap just inside the door to be the “first person through.” There were seven of us, as well, so we ordered all six of Chris Bianco’s specialty pizzas. They are the only six on the menu. They are:

MARGHERITA – Tomato Sauce, Fresh Mozzarella, Basil
MARINARA – Tomato Sauce, Oregano, Garlic (No Cheese)
ROSA – Red Onion, Parmigiano Reggiano, Rosemary, AZ Pistachios
SONNY BOY – Tomato Sauce, Fresh Mozzarella, Salami, Gaeta Olives
BIANCOVERDE – Fresh Mozzarella, Parmigiano Reggiano, Ricotta, Arugula
WISEGUY – Wood Roasted Onion, House Smoked Mozzarella, Fennel Sausage

I found them to be divided into two categories. The Margherita, Marinana and Wiseguy were merely “quite good,” but as my brother Steven pointed out, the Margherita was bested by, among others, Domenic DeMarco of DiFara in Brooklyn, where we famously waited for three hours one winter’s day last year. That day, the pizza was merely “very good,” on one of my two other trips, I had the best single pizza I have ever had, and it was sans toppings.

Chris Bianco is the upscale, Phoenix-based DeMarco — he makes every pizza himself, in front of a restaurant, as opposed to DiFara’s counter. But where DeMarco excels in the cheese-and-oil areas, Bianco has mastered his toppings on the Biancoverde, Sonny Boy and Rosa. Neither the Biancoverde nor the Rosa has sauce, but the cheeses make up for the lack of tomatoes, and the Sonny Boy is just about the best sauce-and-toppings pizza I’ve ever had. These pies are all absolutely superb, but The Rosa is the best. The Biancoverde doesn’t look all that appetizing — it looks like a bunch of clovers fell on a cheese pizza — but it is a great change-up from the others and can hold its own thanks to the ricotta. The Sonny Boy I’ve talked about. The Rosa I can’t even say much about except that it is the second-greatest pizza I’ve ever had, second only to the single DiFara Pie described above. It’s just exquisite.

Bianco’s strength, or at least one of them, is his ability to churn out perfect, homemade crusts every time, and that was on display here. Not all DiFara pies are created equal: DeMarco is moving slowly enough that sometimes he doesn’t properly rotate the four or five pizzas he has going at once. Bianco worked quickly but perfectly. Every pie was perfectly cooked, exquisite. On the way out, we all thanked him, and though he’s from Brooklyn I gave him a “Queens, baby!” to which he responded “Yeah, baby!” Good times, especially when Thanksgiving is the next day. This is why we live, folks.

And, without further ado, The Rosa:

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Happy

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Trouble For The Sports Guy

If I’m doing the math correctly here, the Sports Guy has picked 73 games right against the spread in this NFL season, which would place him in a tie for 5245th place out of 23,858 entries, with about 10,000 still active. Ya boy is in 34th. There are no numbers missing there.

Oh, and the Patriots are favored by 22.5.

More On Easterbrook!

I’ll say this about Gregg Easterbrook’s dalliance with a complete lack of reason: it’s gotten me to read his column. And most of the football parts, at least, are non-offensive to me. He just has this thing for the Patriots, this, “I coach football so I can talk about sportsmanship w/r/t the NFL, but it actually makes no sense, so here’s the Hubble Space Telescope and oh yeah, BillBelichickHatesPuppies and Al Gore is a fraud — his time would clearly be better spent writing football columns.” Say what you will about Gore’s politics, but a criticism of them doesn’t belong on ESPN.com, does it?

Anyhow, his narrow view of the Patriots’ running-up-the-score charge is not unlike that of many others who don’t follow the games closely. Only Easterbrook professes to actually follow what’s going on quite closely and seems to miss, oh, a whole lot. From today’s column:

At the end of the third quarter, the Patriots were leading Buffalo 42-7 — more than the margin of the greatest comeback in NFL history — yet Tom Brady was still on the field, still throwing passes like mad while the Flying Elvii were going for it on fourth down rather than attempting a field goal, frantically trying to run up the score. This is bad sportsmanship, plus it needlessly exposes starters to injury.

In previous columns, Easterbrook has criticized New England for playing Brady in the fourth quarter of close games: now we’re up to the third quarter. What’s next, the half? As the Patriots were up 35-7 at halftime, they could have easily been up 35-0, a deficit which every team in NFL history save one has not come back from. Should he be benched then? Well, that’s ludicrous. But the late third quarter is not ludicrous now, because it fits into Easterbrook’s narrative. Sigh. Brady did not play a single down in the fourth quarter and the Patriots ran the ball a hefty percentage of the time. It was, in fact, a display of sportsmanship. That the Bills cannot stop the Patriots is not the Patriots’ fault.

He also accuses the Patriots of being ruthlessly efficient in their first seven drives, scoring touchdowns on all of them, and this is true, but he criticizes them in going for it on fourth down (see above). Yet earlier in the article he writes:

And in other football news, trying for the first down on fourth-and-short isn’t a “huge gamble” as sportscasters say. Rather, it is playing the percentages properly. Jacksonville is 7-3 and leads the NFL in fourth-down attempts and fourth-down conversions. See more below.

So wait… for Jacksonville, going for it on fourth down is a cause of their success, while in 10-0 New England, it’s a symptom of excess? I’m confused. This is a clear double standard.

After this pre-determined silliness, he moves on to effusive praise of the New England offensive line and writes:

The Flying Elvii are doing everything to near-perfection, but TMQ continues to think too much credit is going to Brady and his flashy receivers, not enough to the offensive line and defensive front seven. On the night, Brady was never sacked, was hit only once and hurried only once; otherwise, he stood in the pocket as though he was posing for a magazine cover, no rusher even near him. Put Joey Harrington behind New England’s great offensive line, and he’d be a star.

Now, I hate the Peyton Manning vs. Tom Brady debate, because I think it’s reductive and meaningless, and there are too many other factors that determine their performance to conclusively say that one is better than the other (hence the debate’s popularity). But the argument always goes something like this: [x] is underrated, so [y] is overrated. Which is fun but wrong: they have nothing, in a very real sense, to do with one another. What does this have to do with Easterbrook? Well, Easterbrook is making the argument that even Joey Harrington would be a star on New England. That may be true, but I think Tom Brady can get an appropriate amount of credit here and not be compared to Joey Harrington. It’s not that only Tom Brady is overperforming, or that only the offensive line is overperforming, or that only the wide receivers are overperforming — they all are. They are connected, but it’s not a case of if one is performing particularly well, the other is not. To take away credit from either Brady or the offensive line is ludicrous.

Fun With Obvious Contradictions

Here are two nuggets from Harvey Araton’s piece on A-Rod, the latest excoriation by a Times writer on “player as businessman” in the age of players as business men (it’s astonishing that they can’t wrap their heads around this):

Take this for what it is worth from the player who talked the talk but wouldn’t take the Yankees’ postseason calls for the privilege of handsomely compensating and (we could argue) eventually overpaying him after another playoff failure.

So the Yankees overpaid A-Rod. That would be good for A-Rod, right?

Rodriguez has long been a money magnet and serial attention grabber, but now we are supposed to believe that Boras alone bungled Rodriguez’s second free agency fling?

Wait… now team Boras/A-Rod bungled the negotiations?

Which is it? Did A-Rod bungle the negotiations, or is he overpaid? If he is overpaid, then it would seem he did not bungle the negotiations. That they did not go as smoothly as the Yankees would have liked is too bad for them and their reactionary fans in the press and beyond, who used the two-week window of A-Rod’s potential free agency as a time to bash the crap out of a guy who merely won two MVPs for the franchise. Even I joked that he came crawling back, but it was a joke — the guy is making $275 million as a base, the richest contract in sports history. A-Rod got his contract and the Yankees got their third baseman. What is everybody so upset about?

Martha’s Vineyard Whoops Nantucket

We rolled on them fools for the fifth consecutive year! 48-6! And we’ll be on Sunday Night Football next week too!

Greatest sports year ever.