Bryan Joiner

My blog gives me the search terms people use to find this ole’ blog, and here was yesterday’s list. It goes downhill pretty quickly:

Yikes.

I had a friend in town for the weekend, and you know how that is: exhausting. But it was fun, and I did a couple really great things, the best of which was going to Ellis Island, which is really fantastic. The boat ride is fun too. Other than that, it was a lot of catching up with old friends and eating the fresh tomatoes from my neighbor’s yard. They are resoundingly delicious and she replenishes them faster than I can eat them. Her name is Anna and she is an older woman from Italy/Yugoslavia; that is, as it has been described to me, she is from an area that went back and forth between the countries in World War II-era disputes, and she speaks the languages of both countries. She lives with her brother and maintains and impressive garden, in which there is a shaded seating area with grapes growing overhead. Anyhow, it’s all very nice to look at and even better to eat, and I’m happy that she’s nice enough to share the food with me.

See y’all on the flip side.

I’ve been cracking up non-stop today.

Instance the first: Philip Gourevitch’s Paris Review “interview” with bryanjoiner.com favorite Mik Awake Esq. DDS.

Instance the second: Catz: The Video.

Instance the third: Auctioning dog-chewed Michael Vick cards for “charity.” It’s actually just the picture that gets me.

Instance the fourth: Actually from yesterday, Earl Weaver, former Orioles manager, on an old radio call-in show. Not audibly appropriate for work in the least; maybe the best thing you’ll ever hear from a baseball manager.

In my last post, I messed up the name of the restaurant to which I went with my cousin and brother, and both of them were quick on the trigger to shoot me down. The restaurant was Alchemy, not Atria (Both exist). One of the boys deserves praise for their keen eye; the other, balder one can stfu. Guess which one is which.

I’m back at work today in the third day of the common cold. It was only three years ago that I first heard the truism “Feed a cold”(slash starve a fever), and I took it to heart without any real thought of whether it was true or not. My simple calculus being: eating makes me feel good so if I am A) sick and B) eat lots of food, I will C) feel somewhat better regardless of whether my symptoms, in fact, persist. This cold, contracted on the rainy Friday afternoon or some time thereafter, is relatively minor or has become so after I slept from 8 p.m. Saturday through 8 a.m. Monday with a few two-hour breaks Sunday to attend a work-mandated event and do some other stuff, then it was back in bed for B. Now I’m at work and still sleepy and my stomach is yelling “Enough Already!” with all the food so it’s probably time for some more green tea. See, I told you this was fun.

But happy that Grant Alan Joiner, Esq., will be making landfall in NYC in another 10 days.

Most of you know that I play many fantasy sports. Well, here are my team names from the past seven years, a combination of inside jokes, pop culture references and utter nonsense that should make my mom proud. This is all I got for today. Thanks to Yahoo! for remembering all these.

Don’t Stop Believing
Cuyahoga Sheet Metal
Free Pie And Chips
The Jerks
Ruppert Mundys
Con Pedro Se Come
Taco-Flavored Kisses
Wyld Stallyns
I Got That Yayo
Hooters
U.S. Citizens
Nigerois
Nigerians
(I ran these teams in concurrent baseball leagues after I learn that residents of Niger were Nigerois, not “Nigerians.” Those are resident of Nigeria)
Fergus Wins!
Best Picks!
Hoo Rah For Bill
Wet Bandits
Javier Rodriguez
Sex-For-Cash Robots
Chimps Win!
No Yankees
Jose Cruz Jr. Felix
Carne Asada Steak
Tom Brady
Only Flaherty Did It
Pats in the 2K1
Antowain Smith
Clippers
Eliza Dushku
Boston Celtics
Ben Brissons
Sid Colton All-Stars
This Team Rules